With all of the happiness and celebration, there are also moments of reflection. Some of my friends recently asked me how I feel about the thought of becoming a new mom and raising a child. It's a huge responsibility, but as with everything in life, I hope to learn, make mistakes, enjoy the good and the bad, and cherish every single moment. I'm 24 and at times, I still feel like a kid who is on her journey to figuring out what life is and what I was meant to do with it. Whenever people ask me how I knew when the time was right to get married or make the decision of having children, I don't know what to say exactly. But then I realized that when life is pointing you in a positive direction, you have to read the clues and take the next step forward. You meet the right person and you just know that you're meant to be with them (cheesy, I know, but it's true). And after you both get most of your responsibilities in line and you get a certain feeling, you know the time is right to share your life with more than just each other, but also a child who looks up to you and learns with you along the way. And even after you make all of your plans and decisions, in the end, it's really up to Allah (swt) to grant you the blessing of a partner or a child at the perfect time.
Many times, especially in our culture, we have those aunties who come and ask you (in the most awkward way) when you're going to have a child or, if you're single, when you're going to get married, because they think "it's just been so long and we think it's about time now." I always disliked those conversations. I have the biggest pet peeve against them and have the hardest time doing the whole "in one ear, out the other" thing when it comes to that. I always got stressed out when aunties asked me when I was going to have a child, but I would keep telling myself that people had the right intentions when asking. Some would be polite and share kind words, while others would have no filter and would make me feel very uncomfortable. Having a child and getting married are beautiful moments that are personal. They are not mere tasks that you check off of your list of "things to accomplish in life," but are rather intimate milestones that are mainly between you and your spouse. They are to be celebrated and cherished without the feeling of being pressured or overwhelmed by others.
So when you sit and think about when your time will come for anything in life, or you're getting bullied by aunties about how time is running out, remember that everything happens for a reason and it will happen when the time is right. Sometimes you don't know when that will be. It just happens. And when it does, you'll wonder how it all worked out and realize how worthwhile it was to be patient and ignore all those silly comments. When you finally find the right partner or when you get news that you're going to be a parent, the joy that overcomes you surpasses the frustration you have when people question you about your personal life. At that moment in time, nothing else matters, but the blessing at hand.
Here's to a new chapter, inshaAllah.
Thank you to The Siegers Photo + Video for taking our photos!